Tuesday, July 31, 2018

I'm a survivor and if you are reading this........


I am alive, although sometimes I wonder 
how I survived the times
when Hillary was living on the street and 
I didn't know from one day to the next if 
I would get the dreaded call.

I'm not sure how I survived driving around looking for her
or pounding on the door of the last place I had seen her
praying that she would answer.

Every day a little piece of me died...…

Then recovery began, for her, for me and all those that loved her.
It was rough,
I don't know how I survived when 
every day I worried that she would relapse.

The look; was she using again, was she simply tired,
or was I imagining something
that wasn't really there.

When Ben overdosed upstairs while I was downstairs sleeping
I thought I would die.

I don't know how I found the strength to
 breath for him when he was blue
long enough for the paramedics to arrive.

I don't know how I survived when we watched him
in the hospital fighting for his life.....
entering treatment again, leaving to begin again

devastatingly having to face his passing
on March 8th, 2015.

All of us who loved Ben more than life itself
have continued to live;

including Hillary who is the epitome of what
a survivor looks like.

I have survived,
 she has survived,
 you have survived and we will continue to survive.

We are a family who love, lose and
keep on keeping on

We never give up,

We are survivors!

Lovingly k

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If the spirit moves you, please consider leaving a message of hope & peace-K