Friday, March 16, 2018


Good morning, and it is just that.....
A good morning!

Connections are what make things work, they are what keeps our world together. Connecting boards, bricks and stones is what builds our homes. Bones connect with each other and tissue to keep our body mobile. Connecting polar opposites to a source keeps our homes lit at night.

Connections of our mind, body and spirit is what makes us whole. Each piece of this equation is imperative for the whole to function at its highest level.

Please take a moment to think about
the connections you have to people in your life...........

What do these connections bring into your life?
Does this connection bring you joy?
Does this connection feed your spirit?
Does this connection keep your body strong?
Does this connection aid in your feelings of comfort/peace?

Now please take a moment to think about
each person, individually and ask yourself
is this a healthy connection?

Now, I would like you to think about what would happen if you severed the connection to people that do not serve your higher purpose in life.

There is a ritual that you can do that will help to release the connections that are not healthy for you that has helped me immensely; Another tool for the 'healing tool box'. 

A message from a cup of tea

Find a place that you can sit quietly
Imagine a cord connecting you to the source of the unhealthy connection
Visualize yourself cutting through the cord
(this is the fun part)
You can cut through the cord with whatever your heart desires.
Scissors, knife, machete, axe, machine gun anything that will break the ties that bind you.
Now visualize the cord parts separating in the air 
see your cord coming back into your space surrounded by 
a white light of protection.
See the other cord drifting off into space
and taking with it any and all negative sensations.

This takes practice, however it works! I promise. When you first start it is hard to see the other piece drift away as for most of us letting go of connections is really hard. Remember if you put yourself in close proximity to the other end it can fuse itself back together, almost as if it is looking to attach again for it knows it was once together. That is when you repeat the prayer below and watch it drift farther and farther away with each and every moment that you are being surrounded by the light of love.

Prayer for the release of connection 
Most Divine and compassionate God
I thank you for the connections you have placed in my life 
that have brought me joy and peace.
I also thank you for the connections that did not as they 
taught me a lesson that I needed to learn.
Today I ask that you would please strengthen the ties that 
bind me to you and those that help me to be and see my best self.
Help me to weaken and separate completely from the connections
that do nothing to serve my higher power
that is strengthened by the love you share with me through
your presence in my life and the presence of those that 
have crossed my path to teach me love of myself and others.

May the peace and love of connections to those that 
bind you to the loving spirit of the universe 
bless you and keep you in joy today and for all eternity.

Friday, March 9, 2018

A gift from Ben (Sean/Old Man)

Everyone deals with the loss of a love in different ways. When Ben passed Hillary thought about the idea of dating to try to fill the huge void that was left by Ben's passing. We talked about it and she realized that simply wasn't possible, no one could ever replace Ben and she needed time to heal before someone could ever enter her heart.

After a while Hillary came to me and said she had been talking to someone who she thought was special. I was NOT ready for that at all. I worried about her and her fragility, I worried about the boys. I told her I understood however I did not want him at the house, that I didn't think it was a good idea. 

What happened next I knew was a game changer. Hillary told me Sean's birthday was the same day that Ben left this life. She then told me his mom's name was also Kim, he had two nephews that he was very close to that were the same ages as Cam and Lin, he was a huge Giants  fan and that he didn't drink or do drugs, never had.

This made me stop and think, could it be possible that Ben had chosen him, and when I talked to Hillary about that possibility she said that she had been talking to Ben and had asked him for someone to simply spend time with, someone to do fun things with the boys and magically Sean appeared.

Still not convinced, Annie called me and said 'he' was at the house and she knew I would not be happy. I got home from work, walked around the back of the house and was not prepared for what I saw.

Sean (Old Man as Cameron nicknamed him; still not sure exactly why) was helping Hillary build a shed. When he looked up my heart skipped a beat, I saw Ben.......for a split second Ben was there in this person. Startled I introduced myself and walked in the house.

Sean resembles Ben in very slight ways however there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Ben brought this incredible man into all of our lives. 

When Kim (Ben's mom) met him for the first time, she too felt a presence and has welcomed him into her family. 

Ben picked the best possible person to be with Hillary and the boys and here is how I know.

Sean loves Hillary and the boys and is generous with his time and treasures.
Sean is kind and funny
Sean makes Hillary and the boys laugh (how great is that)
Sean is playful (he is a big kid himself)
Sean has a gentle soul (necessary for helping to raise two young men)
Here's the deal closer: Sean is not threatened by the memory of Ben. Ben's shoes are some pretty big shoes to fill and he does not need to fill them. He is very simply stated, Sean, and that is all he has to be. He spends time with our family and friends, Ben's family and Ben and Hillary's friends and he does it with grace. Never misses a step.

We all love Sean for who he is and what he has become for Hillary and the boys.

They are safe in his care and that is no accident. Ben's spirit was most definitely involved in this (not by chance) meeting. This was intentional in every sense of the word.

Yesterday I remembered the day Ben passed with sadness for the loss and joy for the love that remains.

Today I celebrate the life that is part of ours and gives us reason to celebrate a day that otherwise would have been left to mostly bring sorrow.

You can't make this stuff up, Ben's spirit is just as powerful from beyond as it was in the physical realm.

Believe in miracles
They are REAL
and happen all the time
Be grateful
God is everywhere and
in everything

Happy birth to heaven day Ben
and Happy birthday Sean
kindred spirits 

love and light be with you always

Thursday, March 8, 2018

It is the 3rd anniversary of Ben's leaving this life and this is what I know.....

There are very few things I am certain of;
however, this is what I know
beyond a shadow of a doubt.

People enter our lives for a reason,
they enter to teach us something
and/or for us to teach them.

Benjamin Mark Comparone
entered this life on October 9th, 1988

He changed the world.
I can say this with certainty because we all do,
each and every one of us has a purpose.

Big or small doesn't matter.

Ben gave the world his full attention
even if it wasn't for as long as we wanted,
he was present; that was a gift and still is.

Ben loved deeply and was loved just as deeply.

I only knew Ben for a short time
however in that time here's what I know.

In this life Ben was a person full of passion.
Passion for love,
passion for family,
passion for music,
passion for humor.
passion for the GIANTS
Ben did nothing half way,
When he set his mind on something
he gave it his all.

Ben's presence in my life changed me
for the better.

Ben fought his disease every day,
do not be fooled by his no longer living
on this plain.

He was a fighter and he fought with the same passion 
with which he lived.

Here is more of what I know.
He loved my daughter unconditionally; so much so that
he blessed her with two young men 
who will live on in his image 
with his legacy of love;
reminding us everyday that love truly never dies.

He taught Hillary how to be a fighter,
how to stand up and keep standing.
He believed in her, and still does.

Ben was, is and always will be 
one of my greatest miracles
and I will rejoice on the day that we meet again.

If you are able,
call, text, email, show up on the doorstep
of someone you know who is suffering and is in the 
throes of addiction or someone who is working their recovery
and hug them, tell them you love them,
tell them their life is a gift to you,
and that they are an important
part of the universal plan.
That their life: indeed, has a purpose.

Tell them that your love is unconditional
and that even though you may not always 
agree with their choices you will always
pray for their peace and joy.

Every year this day comes with great sadness 
over the loss of Ben's physical presence
with all of us here.

And every year this day is a reminder that Ben lived,
and that brings me joy. He has given me so many gifts
and I chose to share his gift of love, knowledge
of addiction and fighting spirit with all of you.

Our community has grown exponentially 
over the past two years
which brings me joy. 
I am grateful for all of you 
who choose to stand with me and rise above
the stigmas that have been associated with this disease.

Love is Love
Light is all around us
Be love and be light

and may the peace of the Divine
be with you today and always

HUGE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS tomorrow and I will share a  very special gift Ben gave us all 
(a reason to celebrate on this day)