Addicts are selfish; question or statement?

I'd be a millionaire if I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say the words, 'addicts are selfish; they don't care about anyone but themselves'.

This is simply not true in most, if not all cases. In my relationships with people who suffer with this disease it is entirely the opposite.The addiction calls the shots because the addicts, themselves no longer are able to see themselves as valuable so they feel hopeless against the power necessary to change vs. the power of the addiction.

-Have you ever felt hopeless in a situation that seemed completely out of your control?

-Have you ever felt someone/something held all of your cards; spouse, boss, child, illness, etc.?

-Have you ever wanted to give up because no matter how hard you try, your goal always eludes you?

-Have you ever wanted something so deeply that you would do anything to have it, but you don't have the proper tools to get it?

-Have you ever felt like a dog chasing their tail, endlessly; over and over again?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions then you have a pretty good idea of what those who suffer with addiction go through.

There may be, and probably has been times they try to blame anyone/anything for the reason they are where they are. Ultimately, it is easy to blame someone else because if you have to take on responsibility for your own sh*t, it only makes you feel worse about yourself; more than you already do. Playing the blame game is a defense that so many of us have used at times to hide our own feelings of inadequacy.

Now you throw in the clinically diagnosed, chemical addiction (and often mental illness) and you are 100% shoveling sand against the tide. Try as you might the waves keep crashing in and it can be nearly impossible to keep going.

Now I want you to throw in the fact that in most cases your 'loved ones' are pretty much abandoning you; either in reality or as you see it.

Now I want you to throw in when you are addicted to someone/something, that thing takes over your brain and tells you all of the things your subconscious has been telling you all along; 'you are worthless so why bother'.

Oh, and by the way, did I mention that you can and usually do become so physically and emotionally  ill when you try to stop that I have heard from folks that they would simply rather die.

You tell me, where is the selfishness, where is the 'it's all about me'?

It is there because there is so much damage to your self worth that most things simply don't matter anymore. 

I would like you to consider taking a moment to think about when you have felt the emotions associated with being lonely, in pain, scared, tired, worthless and what you have done to alleviate those discomforts......

Now take a moment and ask yourself if you always chose something healthy to combat those emotions..........

Lastly, take a moment and ask yourself what brought you out of those feelings......

I am going to guess that it was love & light, either from within or from someone who has shown them to you.

When I started SOS almost two years ago it was with the intention to honor Ben's memory by creating a worldwide chain of unconditional, kind, loving healing support by way of positive energy, in the form of multi-faith and nondenominational prayer being sent out to world to heal wounded souls.

Today I ask you to join me in continuing our outreach ministry by sharing these ideas with as many people as you can, if that is one person than I am thrilled that one more person can share in our love of all those affected by addiction.  

 Light is the only source that can

overcome darkness

Let your light shine!

may you feel the presence of light

in your life so warmly

that it shines

brightly for all the world to see

peace, k

photo by Peter Malek

(notice the burst of light)