I have spent immeasurable amounts of time questioning, am I good enough and believing that I could control every event and circumstance in my life and the lives of those that I love by trying so hard to be the best possible person I could be and take care of myself and them to the best of my ability and beyond. Here's what I've learned and what I know now:
Loving someone, no matter how much you love will not change their self destructive behaviors. No one could change mine, I alone have that power.
Saying more, doing more and trying to be more does not mean that someone will do the same for you, however, do it anyhow if it feels right.
Praying loud enough and hard enough doesn't always mean everything will change and all will be right with the world the way we see 'right'. Pray loud and hard because that too feels good and the divine source of all goodness indeed answers all prayers. Sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes it is I have something better planned for you, and sometimes the answer is simply wait; now is not the right time!
Having said that, let me say this, none of this matters because at the end of the day, when I believe I have fallen short, I ask myself, did I do my best for myself and for others? Did I love all those that share my space in this world with all my heart? Did I pray as deeply as I possibly could for peace in the lives of those I love? If I can answer yes to all these questions and on most days I can, then I am good, and the 'enough' part doesn't matter.
We may not always get the answers or responses we desire, however, how we choose to move forward in our lives in spite of that defines our character. We all fall short and by Grace from above we are loved, forgiven and cherished by the source of true mercy and kindness just because we are who we are. It is that simple.
Keep on keeping on and always be true to who you BELIEVE you are no matter the challenges you face or the people who may say differently and share this message of good with those you love who face their own sets of challenges.
It is not about falling, it is about rising and we rise by lifting others whether they want to be lifted or not.
Life happens and today I will work hard to remember that control is overrated. Personally, I like the idea of surrender. Surrendering the judgements we place on ourselves and others by letting go and letting God which can and will always bring about peace.
I offer you my love and peace,
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If the spirit moves you, please consider leaving a message of hope & peace-K